“We truly live in sensory overload. The biggest culprits, of course, are our beloved and dreaded smartphones. Putting our phones down is so hard. But the ‘Ists’ tell us that the general anxiety increase so many of us experience around phone usage is usually because of exhausting over-stimulation rather than the content that’s necessarily absorbed. Looking down in a slumped posture with a glaring light, darting images, noise and speed-reading content can’t help but keep the brain frenzied and wired. Without sensory rest, we can’t control the overwhelm.”
I Haven’t Been Entirely Honest with You, by Miranda Hart
So, you’ve read Part 1 and Part 2.
You know all about the Pink Elephant Paradox. You know you cannot control sleep. You’re no longer getting into a tizz, looking for patterns and secrets in a quest for the holy grail of good sleep.
And now you’re a non-judgemental, compassionate detective/scientist, challenging unhelpful thinking and allaying unfounded fears.
I think you’re ready for the next sleep-gems. So I have one question for you…
Q: Why do sleeping pills often work?
Why do sleeping pills sometimes/often work?
This is because when we take a sleeping pill, we change how we think about our sleep for the night. Essentially, we delegate the ‘sleep efforts’ we typically make (which don’t work) to the sleeping pill. What goes through our minds is something like, “This pill will make me sleep”. So, for one night, we don’t question whether or not sleep will happen. We just close our eyes and hand over all sleep efforts to tablets.
*But don’t sleeping tablets chemically put me to sleep? NOPE! They simply induce drowsiness. The rest is up to your in-built, God-created (or evolutionary) automatic impulse to sleep. That’s why sleeping pills don’t always work.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for insomnia (CBTi)
CBTi is one of the most popular treatments for chronic insomnia. The first few lessons in CBTi are about debunking myths. We learn that everyone has some wakeful nights; there’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ amount of sleep because we are all different, and being awake is not dangerous. CBTi suggests that when you can’t fall asleep, instead of lying in bed tossing, turning and berating yourself, get up and do something calm you enjoy (reading, journalling, praying, drawing etc) for half an hour or more, and return to bed when you’re sleepy.
*Most importantly, don’t get legalistic about this, lest it become another ‘sleep effort’!
Daytime:
All you need for a good night’s sleep is to be awake during the day.
Your circadian rhythm is an internal ‘clock’ that takes its cue from the day. After a poor night’s sleep, have a normal day. Don’t attempt to compensate for lost sleep. Start enjoying the things you once relished during the day. Do something to pamper yourself; don’t cancel your plans. Don’t call in sick—prove to yourself that a bad night doesn’t signify a bad day… this way, you won’t dread being awake as much, and you’ll lessen the pressure to sleep at night.
Speed bumps along the road to recovery:
Anything you do to try to sleep better, or to sleep more or longer, leads to self-monitoring because you can’t help wondering if it’s working. The more you monitor sleep, the less you sleep.
You’re particularly vulnerable to unhelpful thinking when you hit a speed bump.
For example, “See, I knew this wouldn’t work for me!” When you hit a speed bump, try to see this as a regular part of the bumpy road to recovery.
Being hyped up
Finally, you’ll know by now that old friend ‘hyperarousal’ can also be produced by puzzlement, excitement and curiosity.
Consider what you ‘feed’ your mind and eyes in the evenings. Stop working at a reasonable hour and turn off the television or phone.
When you experience hyperarousal, simply notice it. It’s a clue that your body is trying to tell you something.
[cue compassionate curiosity]
Take a moment to check for automatic thoughts—are you catastrophising or being excessively negative? If you’re feeling anxious, ask yourself what might have triggered your fear response. Embrace your discomfort, acknowledge it without judgement, and remind yourself, “I’m safe. It’s just a thought.”
Gratitude
Thank the Lord (or what/whoever you look to) that your mind and body are designed to react to danger, to keep you safe. But there’s no real threat in this situation – even wakefulness is no longer frightening, right!?
Then, continue with whatever you are doing. Eventually, that hyperarousal will decrease. You’ve recognised it and reassured yourself that you’re okay.
Your internal alarm can gradually reset to ‘calm’.
Sleep tight!
SMALL PRINT:
P.s. Having a comfortable, restful, cosy bedroom with clean, comfortable bedding and pillows, good ventilation, and no screens is still a must for me!
P.p.s. Hubby calls me a ‘princess’ – as in ‘The Princess and the Pea’ – because part of my bedtime routine involves smoothing out sheets, dusting away the tiniest hint of crumbs in the bed, flipping my pillow to the cool side and getting comfy like a cat. He could sleep through a hurricane! As my Mama always says, “Isn’t it wonderful we’re all different.”
P.p.p.s. A regular bedtime routine – what I call ‘wind-down’ – is essential to good sleep. I encourage you to find what works for you. But anything can become a ‘sleep effort’, so be careful.
P.p.p.p.s. More news on our house-move in my next blog.
P.p.p.p.p.s. References for this blog: Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for insomnia (CBTi), ‘This is Natto’ by Daniel Erichsen (a book desperately needing a good editor, but proposes the very helpful concept of ‘befriending wakefulness’) and Beth Kendall, sleep coach, blog.
Nyamazela 